you

I can’t stop thinking, so I got myself together to write my thoughts down. I am basically over-thinking stuff once again, something that has been keeping me up many nights in the last few days. I am worried about going away and I am worried about not being able to concentrate on significant things without you.

As some of you maybe already know, I am leaving Europe for three months to go to America with my family. Of course I am excited and also very blissful of having the opportunity of being able to do something this marvelous! I am thrilled about the beautiful sceneries I’ll be able to capture with my camera and the hopefully remarkable things I will be able to observe while travelling, but I am in love with somebody and it hurts. Why is it so hard to love and yet so very simple to admire all about a person? Maybe I am just a very passionate and intense lover, perhaps an overly attached girlfriend. Without him my day is bad. Not just bad, in fact everyday without him is dreadfully horrible. I know I am able to manage things by myself after a while without him and I know I will, but yet I’ll still miss the smell of his presence and his lips on mine. I’ll miss how he yawns whilst he tells me how exhausting his day was and how he then rubs his eyes, I’ll miss how I would absorb every movement thinking how tremendously delightful his actions appear to me; how it burns when he touches me and how I yearn for him to when he doesn’t. I don’t believe it would be possible for me to exist without him. I might be crazy, but once in my life I don’t feel like I am. I do things to convince myself that I am still crazy, for the reason that I cannot possibly accept as true that he makes me feel less unusual. I am all right to say that I am in love with him. And I am all right telling him I love him. I don’t feel like I am incorrect when I say that I we will not break up; somehow I feel like he won’t leave me. I mean I am way to emotionally attached to him and probably a little too indolent to leave. I do know it is possible for things to change, but if he intended to dump me he would’ve done it a long time ago. I think he is crazy for being in love with me, but I know I am crazy in love with him. I find him unbelievably irresistible and I am grateful for having somebody like him in my life. With him things are better. Since he appeared in my life I can’t seem to see anything else but his perfection. There are butterflies in my organs

-I never thought it could feel so good to have butterflies in your organs.